Why “Pick My Brain” Isn’t Free Anymore — And That’s OK

You’ve probably heard it before — or maybe you’ve said it yourself.

“Can I pick your brain?”

It sounds innocent. Harmless. Even flattering, right?

But if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of that phrase more times than you can count — especially after years of hard-earned experience, long nights, and lessons learned the hard way — you start to notice a pattern.

Let me guess…

They want your expertise.
They want your contacts.
They want your strategy.
They want your playbook.

But they don’t want to pay for it.

Wait, when did my brain become a free buffet?

There was a time when I said yes to every coffee meeting, every DMs asking for “advice,” every student request to “chat for 15 minutes.” I thought, why not? It’s good karma. I’m helping someone.

But over time, something shifted.

I began to feel drained. Not just mentally — emotionally too.

People would show up with notebooks, ask 100 questions, take furious notes… and disappear. No follow-up. No thank you. Just silence — until the next person showed up asking the same thing.

It wasn’t a conversation. It was extraction.

Here’s the brutal truth: Free advice isn’t free.

Behind every answer I give, there are:

• 10+ years of doing the work
• Thousands of dollars in mistakes
• Countless hours learning what NOT to do
• Relationships I spent decades building

That doesn’t mean I’m unwilling to help. Not at all.

It just means I now value my time — and I hope you do too.

So when someone says “Can I pick your brain?” — here’s what I really hear:

“Can I get the shortcuts, distilled wisdom, and customized advice that you earned through blood, sweat, and tears… for the price of a latte?”

And that’s just not sustainable.

But what if you genuinely want help?

Great! There’s a better way to ask.

Try this instead:

• “Do you offer consulting? I’d love to book a session.”
• “Is there a paid way I can access your insights?”
• “Can I attend your workshop or buy your guide?”

That tells me you respect the value of what I bring to the table — and you’re serious about acting on it.

Because let’s be honest: People who pay, pay attention. When you invest in something, you show up differently. You listen harder. You apply faster. You get results.

Free advice, more often than not, just collects dust in someone’s Google Drive.

It’s not personal — it’s professional.

This boundary isn’t about being arrogant. It’s about being aligned.

My time is now reserved for:

• People who are ready to commit
• Clients who want transformation, not just information
• Collaborations that are mutually respectful and energizing

The rest? Well… they’ll be okay. Google exists. YouTube is full of free content. Libraries are still around.

But if you want my brain — the years, the insights, the customized roadmap?

That’s called consulting. And yes, it comes with a price tag.

I still want to give back — just differently.

I still write free blog posts. I still create podcast episodes. I still share value-packed content online. That’s me giving back at scale — to everyone.

But my one-on-one time?

That’s sacred now.

Because here’s what I’ve learned the hard way:

“If you don’t put a price on your time, someone else will — and it’ll be far lower than it’s worth.”

So, if you’re someone who’s ever wanted to ask “Can I pick your brain?” — pause for a second. Ask yourself:

• Do I value this person’s time?
• Am I ready to act on what I learn?
• Am I willing to invest in the outcome I want?

If the answer is yes — fantastic.

Let’s talk. But let’s do it the right way.

Because your brain isn’t a buffet either.

And it’s time we all started acting like it.