How I Cope with Negative Feelings: A Personal Strategy That Works for Me

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

Ugh, here it comes again—that familiar sinking feeling. The tightness in my chest. The nagging voice in my head whispered, “Maybe you’re not good enough. Maybe this idea won’t work.”

I’ve been there. Many times.

As an entrepreneur, writer, and someone who has spent decades navigating the ever-changing world of technology, I’ve faced my fair share of setbacks. Failed projects, rejections, criticism can gnaw at you if you let them. But over the years, I’ve developed personal strategies that help me manage negative emotions effectively. Let me share them with you.

1. Reframing the Narrative

I’ve come to realize a simple truth: How we interpret events determines how we feel about them.

Take rejection, for instance. I could look at it and say, “They didn’t like my idea. I’m a failure.” Or, I could reframe it: “This is a chance to improve. What can I learn from this?”

It’s like debugging code. When a program doesn’t run the way I expect, I don’t assume, “I’m a terrible programmer.” Instead, I think, “Okay, where’s the bug? Let’s fix it and make it better.”

This shift in mindset has helped me turn many so-called “failures” into valuable learning experiences.

2. Talking to My Future Self

Whenever I’m in a slump, I imagine a conversation with my future self—maybe five or ten years ahead.

“Hey Mazlan, do you remember this horrible moment when everything felt like it was falling apart?”

Sitting comfortably in a smart city powered by IoT solutions (hopefully using Favoriot’s platform), the future me sips his coffee and replies, “Oh, that? It wasn’t a big deal. Look where you are now. You figured it out.”

It sounds funny, but this little trick reminds me that most negative emotions are temporary. A bad day is just that—a bad day. It’s not my entire life.

3. Shifting from ‘Why Me?’ to ‘What’s Next?’

When things go wrong, our natural reaction is often, “Why is this happening to me?”

But I’ve trained myself to replace that question with “What’s next?”

For example, when one of my IoT projects was delayed due to unforeseen technical issues, I could’ve spent weeks sulking. Instead, I focused on the next step—figuring out alternative solutions, optimizing our approach, and moving forward.

Action is the antidote to despair.

4. Using Humor to Diffuse Negativity

One of my favorite ways to cope with negative feelings? Finding humor in the situation.

Here’s an example:

There was a time when a project I was working on wholly crashed during a live demo. Imagine the horror. Everyone was staring at me. My inner voice screamed, “Run away and start a new life as a fisherman!”

But instead of panicking, I laughed and said, “Ah, just as planned! Now you all know what not to do in a live demo.” The tension broke, and I quickly pivoted to explaining the problem.

Laughing at setbacks doesn’t mean ignoring them. It just makes them easier to deal with.

5. Physical Movement to Reset the Mind

I get up and move when my brain feels like a storm of negativity. A short walk, a drive, or stretching can do wonders.

Why does this work? Because our body and mind are connected. When we’re stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, physical movement breaks that cycle.

Some of my best ideas come when I’m not actively thinking about my problems. Instead, they come when I’m out for a stroll, sipping teh tarik at a roadside stall, or just stepping away from my desk.

6. Focusing on Small Wins

When everything feels overwhelming, I shift my attention to tiny victories.

Did I write a good paragraph today?

Did I help someone with advice?

Did I avoid throwing my laptop out the window?

Small wins matter. They build momentum, and momentum leads to bigger successes.

7. Connecting with People Who Uplift Me

Over the years, I’ve realized that surrounding myself with the right people makes a huge difference. Whether it’s with my family, close friends, or my network of fellow entrepreneurs, having positive interactions helps counterbalance the negativity.

Whenever I feel stuck, I reach out to someone who can provide a fresh perspective. It’s incredible how just a simple conversation can shift your entire mood.

8. Remembering Why I Started

When I feel like giving up, I remind myself why I began this journey in the first place.

I think back to my excitement when I first discovered IoT’s potential. I think about the vision behind Favoriot—helping businesses and cities become more imaginative. I think about the impact I want to leave behind.

That motivation is often enough to pull me out of my slump.

Final Thoughts

Negative feelings are inevitable. We all face them. But we don’t have to let them control us.

By reframing our perspective, using humor, taking action, and surrounding ourselves with positivity, we can more effectively navigate tough times.

So the next time you’re feeling down, remember: It’s just a moment in time. Keep moving forward. The future version of you will thank you for it.